No One Hurts You Without Your Consent

On Instagram yesterday, a friend of mine said in one of their stories, that their previous story was posted in anger in response to something that was said about them. Getting angry and pissed off at things is something I have been learning to control, particularly in the past few weeks. Although, almost always when I’m angry, it’s because of something my brother did. I can almost say he’s the only person I get angry at.

Although I’m practising control now, I remember something I read in a book called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This was probably over 4 years ago, and I don’t remember most of things that I read in the book, but this part stuck with me.

“No one can hurt you without your consent”. It sounds a bit weird, but it will make sense when I explain it to you

Our reactions are a response to stimulus. We react to what we see, feel, taste, smell, and hear. Our reactions are thus dependent on the stimulus that we receive, however if we are more conscious of our actions, we can see this differently.

In the context of someone offending us, we are hurt by someone’s words because we give their words the power to hurt us.

If someone's words hurt you, you gave their words the power to hurt you

How? The only reason someone’s words hurt you, is because you let them hurt you. You value, someone else’s opinion of you. You assign their negative words, the same negativity that they spew when they say hurtful things. The moment you stop valuing negative opinions, you are not hurt anymore.

And I know, that’s very easy to say. And I agree, it’s much easier said than done, but it’s true. You will not be hurt if you don’t let someone’s words hurt you. In that sense, by getting offended, we impinge on our own happiness

If we can be conscious of this fact, we can be masters of our emotions

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