When I started posting updates consistently at the end of last year, I had gained a lot of momentum.
I was productive and making great progress every day, because of which I made ambitious goals for 2020. I lost steam pretty quickly, after some loss of momentum and some unplanned events I was completely derailed.
After a point of time, I was pretty confused. I didn’t know how to get back, and I entered into a procrastination cycle, and the trouble I had prioritising between things only got worse. I still worked on my goals, but not with the same intensity. It’s not like I had burned out already, it was more like having built 5 stories of a building and seeing 3 of them getting destroyed. I knew the only way to get back was to just get back at it again and forget anything bad that ever happened, but I resumed at a very slow pace.
In the month of March, my grandfather died, and I had to fly to Chennai. While I had been warned about the state of my grandfather’s health, and I had prepared myself to accommodate for such an incident, emotionally, and in terms of my schedule, I wasn’t expecting what was to come.
The world was brought to its knees by the Corona virus, everything was shut down, and I found myself locked indefinitely with my family at my grandparents’ place.
This completely shattered any momentum I gained in the past few weeks, although it wasn’t much to be fair. The good thing however, was that I got to spend time with my family, which I really haven’t done much of in life.
While I tried to study every now and then, I had too many distractions. There would be constant noise of the television, I would want to play games with my cousins, and 9 people in one apartment are bound to make some noise. To make things worse, I lost a significant amount of money in the stock market 2 weeks ago, but that turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to me.
All these days, I was rather complacent when it came to money. I have never had to worry about food, shelter or clothing ever in my life, and even though, I had a strong desire to be financially independent, my attempts to achieve that were rather slow. After losing money, I first realised why I lost money, then over the following days, I got my head straight. I prioritised my activities easily, it wasn’t even close to as difficult as before. Somehow, it put things into perspective for me, I became more patient, and consequently less paranoid.
I started studying every day, stayed out of the financial markets, and started learning Arabic again. From the past 3-4 days, I have been consistent, and quite productive. I feel good. I know I can’t work on my business right now, and maybe that’s a good thing. After I’m done with my exams, I’ll have a clear head to work with.
I’m feeling good about this, I have given my website a make-over, deleted all previous blog posts, and will restart this year, with my goals reset, and a new found motivation to accomplish things.
Corona has made 2020 a crappy year, but screw that, I’m not letting that mess with me. I’m locked inside my grandparents’ house, but I still have a computer, internet, and much to be optimistic about.
